Friday, February 3, 2012

Ten Points to Ponder

 #10.  If corn oil is made from corn; and peanut oil is made from peanuts.... what is baby oil made from?
#9.  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#8 Why don't you ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins the Lottery"?
#7.  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
#5.  Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass?
#4. Who the first first person was to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things, and drink whatever comes out?"
#3.  Who tastes the dog food that's advertised with "New & Improved" flavor?
#2.  Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers–what you do today could very well burn your ass tomorrow.
- – - as a patient told me:
“Don’t worry about getting old – it really doesn’t last that long.”


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